Sonic: The Smurf Mating Call By Serenity Bark Raven
by juicy.honeydrop
Summary: this is what happens when you and a friend screw around with some fanfiction generators at 4 in the morning. M for hilarious hawt yaoiz between shadow and that one DBZ rip off guy
**A/N: warning I did not write this oKAY PLEASE DONT. Okay so where this fic came from is one day me and my bff were fucking around with fanfiction makers at like 4 in the morning last december and then somehow this got written in one of the generators and iTS HILARIOUS HAH JUST READ IT _EVERYTHING BELOW THIS LINE THING IS NOT WRITTEN BY ME_ BUT IT MUST BE SHARED WITH THE WORLD WE SAVED IT AND SOME OTHER BECAUSE IT WAS FUNNY**

 **REMEMBER WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE SMURFS OR GAY SEX CAME FROM WE JUST BOTH KEPT ON CLICKING RANDOM THINGS**

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Note:

In this true story, the charecters are showing as their real Smurf selves. I have not censored it like the the mainstream storys.

A/N: Hope you like it :~

A little Later, Nazo T Hedgehog was taking a shit.

He was having trouble though.

It felt like days passed and still no sign of release.

"Help..Errrr... ahhhh! Christ! when is this epic poo gonna pass!?" Nazo T Hedgehog exclaimed, His face wincing with effort.

He made every effort in his little boy body to expel this demon thing from his womanly back side.

Just as Nazo T Hedgehog was going in for another push..

Without warning the bathroom door suddenly burst open unexpectedly. Ahhhh!

"Well hello...Nazo T Hedgehog" a seductive noise whispered from the doorway.

A shadowy person stood leaning against the door frame. His deep, sensual voice which Nazo T Hedgehog knew immediately. His mind began racing and a nervous sweat began pouring from his face and groinal area.

"Shadow T Hedgehog... is that you? wha- what are you still doing awake...?"

He appeared in nothing but a towel, seemingly ready to take a steamy shower.

However He couldn't with Nazo near by...they were like family was like His cousin.

Any sane person would never allow their own cousin to see them in the nude. Right? RIGHT!? SHIT!"

"Oh I felt dirty from masturbating all day...ya ever feel dirty Nazo T Hedgehog?"

"Y-Yes, I mean NO! NO! NO! Never" Gemhog shrieked, He became so immensely worked up he cleaned his colon clear of the demon feces that had been clogging it. His voice also cracked like he was 13 again, but in comparison to the loud flatulence he just unleashed, who cares? Edgehog heard though, and giggled like a adorable baby girl laugh. It sent tingles all up Nazo T Hedgehog's spine.

"Oh you've always been the shy one in the family, Glowing beauty..."

Nazo was not shy, at all. He defeated Mephiles T Dark Smurf and blew up His evil machines for Christ's sake! and now he suddenly found himself speechless. Was He going to see his metaphorical cousin literally naked? Little did he know, that was merely a choclate source on the banana split of love that was to come.

"..the shy and excitable one." said Ebony finishing the sentence with a sly smile.

"Wh-what the..." and before Nazo T Hedgehog could send the third word out of His mouth..

..Shadow T Hedgehog's towel dropped to the floor,setting his swingy bits free into the mist of the shower.

Nazo T Hedgehog noticed everything on him instantly. His soft butt,his magically gravity-defying middle leg and the giant thingy colored birth mark on his butt, which made Him feel funny...as He had one there too.

Still, the sight of his near perfect body caused edgehog's penis to become very hard. It stood erect and proud, pointing straight towards the mighty heavens.

"hehe oh my edgehog...you're more impressive than I thought."

"uh... ye-yeah, th-thaaanks Nazo T Hedgehog, you're cute too." THIS IS SO WRONG! It raced through his head at lightning speed. But the beautiful, wet, soapy body that stood before him spoke otherwise. Him shapely body was everything Glowing beauty could want in something to wank to. Yet did family like relationship matter?..

...

...

NAAAAAH!

But just as Gemhog was commiting. Commiting to a path that they couldn't go back from.

Nazo Smurf burst into the toilet!

"What are you too upto?"

"Err..nothing" said Nazo T Hedgehog as he causally slipped his pants back on.

Ebony, who Nazo Smurf didnt notice, picked up his towel and backed out slowly.

"Really?"

"I was just having a shit...see?" Nazo gestured to his shit.

"Oh, thats a shit all right! One hell of a shit!

Ok, if your done we better go"

So Nazo T Hedgehog put his other pants on and left. He had a serious case of blue balls, but at least his anus didnt feel so bad now.

As he walked out Edgehog whispered one word. A word fall of hope.

"Later"

Glowing beauty Giggled.

Fortunately, their traveling companion was as oblivious as ever, and didn't notice.

Once apon a time...

Interlude:

Shadow winked at Gemhog when no one else was looking.

"Later" he mouthed at him silently so no one could hear.

Summary:

I suck at writing summaries. Bsides the 'fic isn't that long!

I am Nazo Smurf.

I was sitting behind my desk. I felt the tears well up in my eyes . After Our last adventure, I found out just exactly how cruel people could be. How nasty and inconsiderate real humans actually were. I stared at a picture of a polar bear. A magnificent beast who would not hesitate to kill me ripping him limb from limb, but at least it would be quick. Not a overlong conspiracy of many years, just to be unleashed on me when I was at my weakest and darkest moment. When I needed my friends the most.

But there had been one tiny ray of light in this whole . I remembered fondly the day I discovered it. It was a tuesday morning I rememberanced. The memories surfaced before my mind's eye and took the most wonderful shapes. Before I well knew it, a single tear welled up in my eyes and trickled down my cheek.

Because even when all my 'friends' betrayed me there was one consistant factor in my life: Mephiles Smurf.

And I knew that the rising aspirations between them could never become true, the feelings I had for Psychotic Asshole Smurf were the only thing in this world that still felt true to him. No lies, just that single, pure sense and feeling for Mephiles relationship would probably only ever be physical.

Alas, I thought to meself hopelessly. Why must they battle? Why must I be destined to destroy Mephiles Smurf? Can I ever tell Mephiles T Dark Smurf how much Mephiles T Dark Smurf means to me?

If only I could. Then all my pain would be over. No more betrayal. No more suffering under the laughter from Honey Smurf (who told him she loved me, only to stab me right inti the heart at valentines day!). No, only Mephiles T Dark Smurf and my true feelings for Him.

A/N Lol this has all been so depressive lol! My next bit will be less dark!

A/N I got bord of writing the fanfic as it was so I decided to change things around. I hope u guys like it!

I was as of yet the most beautifyl thingy in the whole of Planet Freedom, Glowing beauty Smurf believed me to be. As I faigjt the great villianness Masochist Smurf, my Big boppers bobbed up and down consistantly like someone making love in a car. I swipped sexlyat the Mephiles Smurf and was more than anything Nazo Smurf had seen before. My beatiful feistful pressure shocked Mephiles Smurf's henchmen into copulating before me.

Wiese Smurf, take my sword! said Glowing beauty Smurf, and give it to the greatness before us. She will need our legendary sword in order to defeat the great uber-Mephiles Smurf"

And lo! Wiese Smurf did so and the maginificent great mysterious woman that was me took the sword and I stabbed Mephiles Smurf.

He was defeated. But was Mephiles T Dark Smurf? Because as Nazo T Hedgehog Smurf ran towards me (I was the mysterious strange beauty of his draems) and was about to share the greatest kiss he(and more) had ever given to someomne in the history of mankind, Mephiles T Dark Smurf rose up and fled!

Later, Gemhog and Ebony were alone again.

"Its Later" said Nazo, pulling Shadow T Hedgehog towards the bathroom.

"But what about the others?"

"I'll just tell them you are helping me shower. They wont suspect a thing"

"True. They are all idiots"

Then, suddenly, Nazo was naked. Edgehog wondered how He did that. He must have been nearly naked this whole time!

The shower turned on...

.. Edgehog was already.

Nazo lathered up good and fine. The soap dripped off His body at a seductively slow pace. Edgehog could not contain the powerful urge of excitement that raced through His veins.

The alluring look of his nudie comrade became too much for him to fathom and his erect penis launched a mighty wad of semen directly onto Gemhog's eye.

There Nazo sat, His pink panties pulled quickly down at his ankles, on a toilet full of poop with His bodly fluids on full display, eyes bulging from His face.

Gemhog giggled as Edgehog's dignity shriveled and died, but Ebony had always enjoyed that delightful snicker, even after He found out He was His own flesh and blood.

"Well...wh-what do we do now?" Shadow T Hedgehog said, desperately trying to sound suave.

"It. We do it."

"it?"

"yes. it"

"we do it?"

"yes"

"oh"

...and with that Nazo jumped on Edgehog. What little remained of their clothes plopped of quickly. Some fell in the toilet.

"um... lets g-get you outta my toil-dreams and into my bed." SHadow T Hedgehog stuttered, desperately trying to be slick, yet he knew it was hopeless to be suave on the shitter.

Nazo T Hedgehog hopped gleefully out of the shower, the soap continued pouring from His shapely body. Edgehog stood up from the toilet, His naughty bits proudly waving about and His pants still down around His ankles. He hurried to chase His shapely body down.

He fell in the door way, tripping over His pants. He pulled His face up from the floor and gazed at Edgehog, DANCING ON THE KITCHEN TABLE

The night wreaked of eroticisms...and Glowing beauty could see that it was going to be a all you can eat porkfest.

And it was!

Nazo T Hedgehog was soon ridding Edgehog like a pogo stick.

"Poke me! DEEPER! DEEPER! GODDAMNIT!"

"Oh God I'm going to hell!" Edgehog screamed.

Shadow still had his Hawaiian shirt on and Nazo T Hedgehog was dripping soapy water all over the bed.

His perky penis swung around, like a happy child on a moon bounce. UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT!, Shadow liked it. It was a big, beautiful thing that ached to be sucked on.

Shadow especially liked that from this angle He could not see the awkward birth mark on His ass cheek. Which was a relief. Shadow wanted to be hard and strong where it counts for the person He had always thought of as His grandpa.

"Oh Ebony!" He breathed heavily, deep and cavernous "is what we're doing wrong!?"

"OH GOD YES!" He yelled back at His naked grandpa.

"GOOD! YES! YES! YES! YES COUSIN!" Gemhog screamed.

When it was over they cleaned themselves, the room and the nearby skyscrapper down.

It took awhile - fortunately they finished before any of their friends got back. So their little secret was safe...for now.

After Mephiles T Dark Smurf was defeated me and Sonic Smurf went on a date.

I wasn't sure if SpeedyOne Smurf wanted to go on a date with me at first so when I asked them out I was feeling a mix of fear and embarrassment. It went something like this.

"So umm, do you want to go out with me?" I said to SpeedyOne Smurf.

"yes" Sonic Smurf said.

"Where shall we go?"

"Somewhere romantic like a pretty iggloo or the beach at night"

"Ok we will go to one of those places"

And we did.

It was really romantic and pretty.

"I am glade we came" said us.

And we eventually got married after a few more dates.

The End

A/N: If anyone wants to know how the other dates went let me know and I'll write them up too.

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 **A/N: okay that was it im back now remEMBER _I DIDNT WRITE THIS I JUST POSTED IT_**

 **FANFICTION GENERATORS ARE A+++ THOUGH TRY THEM OUT SOMETIME THEYRE HILARIOUS**


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